Good afternoon to all 20 odd followers of mine and anyone else who may have stumbled here. Today is my birthday! For my birthday, I implore anyone reading this to buy at least one book/print/cd/piece of jewelry, etc. from a local artist/someone you follow on WordPress. Support the local arts(:
As if the universe wanted to give me a gift, I received the exciting news that two of my poems are going to be published in the NJ Bards Northwest Poetry Review this year. I couldn’t be more grateful this birthday, more aware of my good luck/karma/blessings/fate whatever you want to call it.
Last year, I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, extremely overextended and stressed out at work, had given up on communicating with or seeing my friends and had stopped writing or creating entirely. Needless to say, I was extremely unhappy. Moreover, I was so used to being in a state of unhappiness that I wasn’t even aware of how much I had changed as a person do to that shift.
At the end of 2018, the tension finally broke. I made a conscious decision to change the parts of my life and more importantly, the part of myself that I was unhappy with- starting with my relationship and my job. In a matter of hours, I packed my belongings into my car and left the apartment I had called home for the last year. Bo, my exes’ German Sheppard whimpered as I brought loads of laundry and books out to my car on the street. I miss that dog dearly</3
Next, I gave my notice at the job that had slowly been eating away at my positive attitude. The job scrambled and made me a counter offer, a raise in an amount they never would have offered me before I threatened to leave. I gave them a few extra months, but ultimately stuck to my original decision to leave come the new year.
Please do not think that I am telling you to quit your job, leave your partner and move out of your house without a plan. Remember: the blog is called “What Not to Do.” The moral of the story is to not get too comfortable and settle for less than what you deserve simply because it’s easy or convenient. Take initiative and make changes where you can while accepting the variables in your life that you have no control over.
Let go of what was. Accept what is. Have faith in what will be.
It’s only been a few months since I left my old job and my old relationship. I am happy to report that I have been working out daily, which has changed my routine and gotten me more motivated to write on a daily basis (which has already begun to pay itself off with this up-coming publication). I have become a more positive and pleasant person to be around as a result of my conscious change of habits (confirmed by friends of mine) and overall a more productive and goal-oriented individual. I even wrote out a list of goals for the near future and taped it to my wall (something I highly suggest doing for anyone whom has trouble motivating themselves).
Although I still have a lot of improvement to make, I am proud of myself for the changes I have made and continue to make to better myself. Today, I am not just one year closer to death, as I would usually joke. I am one year wiser, one failed relationship stronger, one publication closer to being a true writer and much, much happier.